Initially the idea of speaking here today seemed impossible. In sitting down to type this, I have decided that any words and anecdotes I can come up with can not do Jason justice. Summing up anyone in a matter of words is difficult enough, but when it comes to a man who was as complex and multi faceted as Jason Hellewell … well summing a guy like him up is impossible to say the least. But unfortunately, I have no choice in the matter. Jason and I used to joke constantly that whoever passed away first would have the other guy speak at his funeral, and that he would have to quote Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Kahn at the end of speaking as well. Looks like he won that round, because here I am.
That pretty much sums up my relationship with Jason. A constant volley – back and forth – of ideas and theories, from the incredibly deep to incredibly trivial, but never without a touch of humor, not matter the subject. In the 9 years we knew each other, we had the chance to cover a lot of ground. We were roommates, coworkers, explorers, warriors, scientists, armchair psychiatrists, part time preachers, our own personal bankers, small time crooks, lunar real estate owners, amateur movie producers, band mates, comedians, and thanks to our time in the Yuletide Wranglers, modern day Cowboys as well.
When we first met, I remember feeling that I was the mature one and I better keep an eye on this kid. Jason seemed reckless, angry, confused, and all around a dangerous fellow back then. But as we grew, I learned that he was much more grounded than I initially gave him credit for, and that he was actually keeping an eye on me. At any time, no matter what was on his schedule, he was always there for me. Without a doubt, he would be the first person I would call when I needed support, wisdom, laughter, … anything. Whatever it was I needed, no matter how trivial the situation may have been, he had me covered. I m ay be one year older physically, but Jason had at least 10 – 15 years on me mentally. He was the textbook definition of an old soul. His compassion was endless, and no matter who you were to him, if you needed help and he could help you out, he would.
An he helped me in more ways than I can describe, and I am sure he knew that. Jason’s presence brought out a side of me that I feel I may have outgrown if I had not met him. There is a certain wide-eyed fascination that we have as children, and unfortunately, many of us don’t retain that as adults. This was not the case with Jason. His greatest gift to me was that he taught me to never look at the world the same way from one day to the next. Every time I though I had this planet figured out, he would expose me to a new theory on how humans subconsciously communicate, or some new planet NASA discovered, or a music theory involving some rhythm that I couldn’t even dream of wrapping my head around. His imagination was endless, and we were lucky to benefit from it all in the writing, songs, artwork, and memories he left behind for us. His mind never stopped working overtime, and he was never content with anything. From his knowledge of the world around him, to his wondering about the nature of his every thought and action, he never stopped asking questions.
And not only did he have such a unique and admirable thirst for knowledge, but it was HOW he learned which was just as important to him. When he found something that interested him, he would devour every shred of knowledge he could until all resources were exhausted. This is how he looked at psychology, his love os space exploration, robotics, chess, and of course music. I remember one time in particular, we had an argument at work over how Time moves. Of course, I just liked seeing him get irritated with me, so I kept disagreeing with his point of view to get a rise out of him. After the weekend passed, I came in Monday morning, and on a white board was an entire diagram worked out in his handwriting. He had spent 48 hours preparing his argument and I was then promptly shut down. What was just a casual conversation on my end, was an entire weekend full of research and theory debunking for him. There were no simple answers, he didn’t just want to know the who and the what, but most important was the why. This was his approach to everything. What good was understanding something if he had not completely taken it to the limit and made sure all the options had been explored? And at this point, I am positive he would like you to know all that – despite was Albert Einstein said – Time moves in a straight line, and Jason Hellewell has the facts to prove it. And it is this aspect of him that is helping me accept the current reality we have been placed in; I like to think that Jason faced death as any other adventure he has gone on in his constant quest for enlightenment. Knowing him, it was just another question to be answered, another journey for him to venture out and explore, and another challenge for him to triumph over.
In closing I am obligated to say of my friend, I can only say this: “of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most … human.”
In saying that I have fulfilled the deal Jason and I made years ago. But this last thing I have to say, are words from a nameless soldier in WWII, and these words were found in a book that both Jason and I read at one point, and I feel as though he himself could be saying them to us right now:
Steven Earl Chambers“I am an empty dream. Like snow left on the mountains in summer. I feel my warm blood moving inside of me, and I am reminded that I am living. My soul will have its home in the rising of the sun. if you feel sad, look at the dawn with all it’s beauty, and you will find me there.”